just survived the first fart of the relationship.
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
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