have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
