Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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