Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Randomize
