Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
