the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
everyone is single if you try hard enough
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
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