it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
