"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Randomize
