I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
You're earring is so big in my mouth
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
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