i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
Randomize
