Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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