U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
