How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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