once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize
