I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
