Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
Randomize
