he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
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