I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize