I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
