If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
