your parents love me but you hate me
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
