i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
