Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
