Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
