When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
Randomize