guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
