he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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