so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
She announced her abortion via fbk
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Randomize
