Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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