no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Randomize
