Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
My vagina is officially offended.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Randomize
