i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Randomize
