Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
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