im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
Randomize
