My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
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