I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Randomize
