Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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