it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
