We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
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