there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
