I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
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