No stitches, just platelets and will power
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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