every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize