Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
