Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Randomize
