he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
