new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
