My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
P.S. I can't hear my feet
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
