we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
