I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
Randomize
