Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
