sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Randomize
