Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Randomize