He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Randomize
